Thursday, July 29, 2010

I'm The Sheldon Cooper Of Grammar

If you don't watch "Big Bang Theory" on CBS, you might be a little lost at this point.  Which isn't a good thing, considering we're only one title and just over a sentence in.  (Ok, two full sentences now.)  Long story short, Sheldon Cooper is a genius who is baffled by basic social protocol and most likely suffering from a severe case of OCD.  Now, I'm not a genius.  Not even close.  And I'm clear on basic social protocol.  (I just sometimes forget to engage that filter between brain and mouth ...and those things usually come out at a louder-than-necessary volume.  I'm generally the person being shushed in any given group.)  And, while my husband may disagree, I don't really display any OCD-like symptoms. Except when it comes to grammar.

Yes, it's true. I am the grammar police.  It's not something I want to be, it's more like something I just can't help.  A compulsion.  A force within me that is greater than myself.  I would say, "Hello, my name is Erika and I'm a grammar-holic," but I would land myself on my own "grammar pet peeves" list.  That's right folks, there is no such thing as "chocohol."  Your job does not consist of "workohol."  And you do not blow lots of money when you "shopohol."  People who are addicted to alcohol are called "alcoholics" because they are addicted to alcOHOL.

 Things like "ain't," "gonna," "gotta," and "y'all" don't bother me.  Probably because I've lived in the South my entire life (except for the three years I lived in Minnesota when I was little).  That's just how people talk.  Made-up words, on the other hand, drive me nuts!  Do you want to relax?  Go ahead.  Do you want to chill?  Go for it!  But I'm begging you: if you're going to "chillax," PLEASE don't tell me about it.

There are actually many, many more examples but for some reason Blogger is unable to keep up with me as I type.  And it turns out that the only thing more annoying than silly grammar is waiting five full minutes to see what I type. In fact, I'm refusing to go back and edit this last paragraph. That's how crazy it's driven m.e  So, please excuse my typos, I assume there are several. i wouldn't know. My screen hasn't made it past "unable to".  Technology sucks sometimes. I'm gonna count to see how long this paragraph takes. Its really amazing how slow it goes... Well, there wentt 15 minutes of my life I'll never see again.

Monday, July 26, 2010


Just as soon as I thought I had time for a blog, life got crazy! Hopefully I will be able to post regularly before long. I actually think once school starts I'll have a little (very little!) more time. We'll see.......

Sunday, July 11, 2010


Last night, as I was drifting off to sleep, an idea struck me.  An excellent idea.  An amazing idea.  The kind of idea that made me think: I really should put that in my blog!  I was so excited about this idea that I started drafting the post, right then and there-- lying in bed, deciding which adjectives sounded best in which order and  mulling over punctuation (how lame is it that I actually do that?)... and at some point while composing that most excellent and enthralling of blog posts, I fell asleep.  I have absolutely no memory of that idea, beyond being so excited about the prospect of sharing it.  I don't even remember a single phrase of the blog post I so meticulously thought out.  Which leads me to wonder: was I lying in bed, excitedly mind-drafting? Or was the whole thing a dream?  I have no idea.  But not remembering anything about that greatest and most amazing of ideas is starting to drive me a little bit nuts!!

Thursday, July 8, 2010


People think I'm crazy because this is my favorite time of the year.  As much as I love the whole Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Year's triad, I sincerely despise cold weather.  (I can't be the only one-- we may celebrate Christmas in winter, but you'll notice that according to history, God Himself chose to become human flesh in the Spring.  I think this affords some vindication for my dislike of the cold.)  I'm a summer baby by birth, and a Southern summer baby, to boot!  Whenever I hear someone say something like, "I wish I lived in a place where it was 70 degrees, year 'round," I think, "Why on earth would you want to be that cold, all year long?!"  I mean, come on-- you need at LEAST 80 degrees for things like enjoying the beach, pool, or whatever other body of water you frequent during the warmer months.
But today we planted pumpkins-- they have to be started in July in order to be ready by October.  And a little, small, tiny part of me is now anxious and ready for Fall.

If all goes well, in a week or so, there will be seedlings in this pot, and those seedlings (again, if all goes well) will soon become vines loaded with pumpkins!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

That's Right, I'm Officially A Blogger

"Are you sure you're not exaggerating a little bit there?" If I had a nickel for every time someone has said that to me, I'd be a bazillionaire. At least. For some reason, I tend to either exaggerate or understate whatever it is I want to say. Just a random fact about myself. And of course, the perfect introduction to my new blog: WELCOME to Hyperbole... and stuff!!

And for my inaugural post, a quick Q&A with myself.

Q: Why are you blogging?
A: Why not?! I'm a writer, albeit one who hasn't written anything in quite a long time. I'm out of practice and I wanted to get back into it. Writing is one of my favorite hobbies, but I've been busy and it got shelved, along with scrapbooking and a few other things. It's summer vacation now, so I have some spare time every day. Also, I've noticed that I update my facebook status a crazy number of times each day. I think a lot of that could be channeled into writing material. It would also lower the number of people who MUST be thinking, "Does she not have a life...?"

Q: What are you going to blog about?
A: What am I NOT going to blog about?! No, seriously, I've given this a lot of thought in the past couple of weeks, and I couldn't come up with anything that's not being blogged about already. So I'm just gonna blog about whatever I feel like sharing on a particular day. What things am I interested in that might make it to the blog? To name a few: food, books, other blogs, news, my kids, and other little random daily life moments.

Q: Wait a minute, aren't you pretty much computer illiterate, and isn't basic internet browsing the height of your technical prowess?
A: Yup. This will be a learning experience for me, as I intend to make this blog not only entertaining (for myself, if for no one else!) but also pretty.

Once again, welcome to Hyperbole... and stuff! This will be fun... right?