Thursday, July 29, 2010

I'm The Sheldon Cooper Of Grammar

If you don't watch "Big Bang Theory" on CBS, you might be a little lost at this point.  Which isn't a good thing, considering we're only one title and just over a sentence in.  (Ok, two full sentences now.)  Long story short, Sheldon Cooper is a genius who is baffled by basic social protocol and most likely suffering from a severe case of OCD.  Now, I'm not a genius.  Not even close.  And I'm clear on basic social protocol.  (I just sometimes forget to engage that filter between brain and mouth ...and those things usually come out at a louder-than-necessary volume.  I'm generally the person being shushed in any given group.)  And, while my husband may disagree, I don't really display any OCD-like symptoms. Except when it comes to grammar.

Yes, it's true. I am the grammar police.  It's not something I want to be, it's more like something I just can't help.  A compulsion.  A force within me that is greater than myself.  I would say, "Hello, my name is Erika and I'm a grammar-holic," but I would land myself on my own "grammar pet peeves" list.  That's right folks, there is no such thing as "chocohol."  Your job does not consist of "workohol."  And you do not blow lots of money when you "shopohol."  People who are addicted to alcohol are called "alcoholics" because they are addicted to alcOHOL.

 Things like "ain't," "gonna," "gotta," and "y'all" don't bother me.  Probably because I've lived in the South my entire life (except for the three years I lived in Minnesota when I was little).  That's just how people talk.  Made-up words, on the other hand, drive me nuts!  Do you want to relax?  Go ahead.  Do you want to chill?  Go for it!  But I'm begging you: if you're going to "chillax," PLEASE don't tell me about it.

There are actually many, many more examples but for some reason Blogger is unable to keep up with me as I type.  And it turns out that the only thing more annoying than silly grammar is waiting five full minutes to see what I type. In fact, I'm refusing to go back and edit this last paragraph. That's how crazy it's driven m.e  So, please excuse my typos, I assume there are several. i wouldn't know. My screen hasn't made it past "unable to".  Technology sucks sometimes. I'm gonna count to see how long this paragraph takes. Its really amazing how slow it goes... Well, there wentt 15 minutes of my life I'll never see again.

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